Posts tagged ‘socialization’

It’s the first question when you tell someone you homeschool your children.  It’s one of the many concerns for new homeschoolers and those that are considering homeschooling.  It’s the “s” word …. socialization.  “What about socialization?”

Some people wonder if their children get enough socialization, particularly new homeschoolers, smaller families and those living in more remote areas.  Homeschool family or not, all parents want their children to grow into successful adults that can navigate their way through society and interact well with colleagues and other adults.

Who doesn’t love getting together with friends?  In addition, playing sports and taking classes teaches valuable life skills such as working together as part of a larger group, relating to different personality types and learning how to tactfully handle criticism and praise.

As homeschool parents, we definitely need to put forth a bit more effort than our public school counter parts for our children to participate in sports, scouting, art classes, etc.   We often find ourselves shuttling our children here and there, several days a week, in the name of socialization.   But, how much is too much? Is there such a thing as “too much socialization”?

As a homeschool mom of 11 years, I can tell you, emphatically, “YES!!!! There is such a thing as too much socialization!”  How much is “too much”?

A well balanced homeschool includes socialization.  Who doesn’t love getting together with friends?  In addition, playing sports and taking classes teaches valuable life skills such as working together as part of a larger group, relating to different personality types and learning how to tactfully handle criticism and praise.  However, as the old adage goes “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.” If you find you do not have enough time in the day to complete your schoolwork or get household chores done, on a regular basis, you may need to ask yourself if your homeschool schedule is balanced enough.

Sometimes “too much” places unwanted stress in your child’s life.  Trying to emotionally and physically keep up with a demanding schedule (i.e. spreading your family too thing) can be trying and children can bring about feelings of pressure and anxiety, often manifesting itself as negative behavior.  If your child’s behavior has changed significantly since adding in all of the “extras,” you may want to consider if it is “too much.”

Where the line of “too much” is drawn varies from family to family and even from child to child. Within our household, it has changed from year to year, depending on the emotional maturity of each of our children.  We’ve had to reevaluate our own needs based on some of the situations mentioned above.   Also, if we notice our children have started to lose their individuality in favor of modeling other children’s behaviors, style, etc., we carefully consider if their lives are balanced enough.

Have you ever reach the “too much” limit?  How did you recognize this and how did you handle it?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.

This post was written by Christina S.. She lives in Detroit with her husband and two daughters.  They have just completed their 11^th year of homeschooling and looking forward to many more ahead!

Today as I was piecing the quilt I am making my Father, it occurred to me that sometimes I feel we are living on Nim’s Island and that my daughter is Nim (this happens to be one of my daughter’s favorite books and movies).  She is an only child and we live on six acres in rural Upstate NY, and often during our homeschooling week she does not get to see any of her friends, as we don’t have any close neighbors with kids and her friends are busy with traditional school. Weekends are a different matter altogether, as she is involved in sports, dance, and plenty of play dates.

One of the reasons we waited until this year to homeschool is that we worried about “socialization” because she is an ONLY child.

This morning she is busying herself making a “Farmer’s Market” for the “fairies who live outside”.  Sticks, grass, and paper comprise the structure of the market and the detailed “wares” for sale inside are incredible! From tiny sewing needles (made from bits of toothpicks), mini journals and teenie tiny pencils, paintings and books (all fairy sized, of course), acorn caps, buttons, little fabric bundles, to small vases and even bite-sized food!

And the funny thing is, like Nim, she is happy and loves reading, using her imagination, and playing with her “animal” and “fairy” friends. She has named the fox across the road “Fern”, the opossum that frequents our garden “Emily”, a rascally raccoon “Jasper”, and a tiny mouse in our field “Amos”.  She loves to write stories and draw pictures of these critters.  But she is also very social and loves playing with her best friends on the weekends.  So why do I let it worry me so much?

One of the reasons we waited until this year to homeschool is that we worried about “socialization” because she is an ONLY child. To feel a bit more connected to our community during the school week, since the weather has turned warm, we have been driving into the Village to grab an ice cream from the scoop shop and walking through the Village admiring the houses and community garden.  Next year she will be playing sports (4^th grade) that actually practices during the week and we certainly look forward to that. We are also both looking forward to summer where she will spend her mornings at Theater Camp with her friends (and me walking with my friends in the Village!) and the afternoons where we will park ourselves at my best friend’s pool with her kids.

As homeschoolers or parents of an only child, what do you do to feel connected to your community and to keep your child(ren) involved with their friends?

This post was written by Colette D., a new-to-homeschooling Mom and a Lesson Pathways Blog contributing writer.  She and her Husband raise their daughter together in the rural countryside of Upstate New York where they like to spend as much time as possible being creative and enjoying nature.  She blogs about her adventures in sewing, crafting, and baking (among other things) at yearofhandmade.